| joints lost, respect gained. |
[Feb. 20th, 2003|11:59 pm] |
I fucking slept in this morning. Of all mornings, I slept through the day in "Women and Violence" where we went over porn. I was supposed to give a presentation about it, I had written a glorious three-page essay, I'd refuted Steinem's entire erotica/porn article, I'd been researching brilliant works on the halcyon days of Usenet---in short, I was ready to fucking rock. And I slept in. Not to worry; the instructor didn't seem upset, and had postponed everything to next Tuesday in any case. Whew.
Acting is not about behaving, it's about hiding. The audience wants to find you, strip you naked, and eat you alive, so hide.--BtVS 4x22, "Restless"
My father warned me, when he was talking to me about the essay. He warned me not to out myself when talking about BDSM. Why not? It's not like I know anyone in that class, and it's a great opportunity to be an educator. Then again, we have Lexi's cautionary example, and, on a larger scale, Jack McGeorge's. If They find out about me, sanctions will be imposed. Rules. Borders. An end zone.
Greg lied to me: the study does involve a rectal thermometer. But for half a grand, I'd be willing to put some pretty impressive objects up my ass. They weighed me, and it seems that I've been accepted into the trial. Whether it's soon or after spring break, I'll get to be a guinea pig, and score some hot cash for my troubles. I'm quite pleased about that. (It's nice to be accepted into something.)
I had forgotten that Chris had borrowed my car this morning. Does this make me irresponsible? He came to jujutsu nicely groomed and shaven, but still hacking up a lung. We did endurance drills, working ourselves into the ground. I took plenty of tani otoshis ("valley drops"), and learned to do a decent one myself. Sensei seems to be happy with my progress---he referred to me as being actually bad-ass. (This was in response to Alexis calling me girly yet again.) Despite all the slings and arrows I've gotten from him, his approval still means a lot.
Alexis and I met up with Nicole afterwards. (Chris had to go call Katie.) We talked until midnightish, about relationships, injuries, the transgendered, Insane Clown Posse, closetedness, being warped by our upbringing and yet more sundry items. Ideas, being tossed out over the table amid complaints of joint pain. Fucking wonderful evening. I can't even put down half of what made it so great, and any attempt to do so just seems like a pale shadow.
I saw a hot girl. Sometimes, there are people so attractive, so stunning that I suddenly start to act stupid around them. The blood drains from my head and moves southward, and I can't muster wit nor mack. That kind of girl walked by and said hello to Nicole. (Hot girl's brother works with Nicole.) She was tall, nearly as tall as me. This was due to calf-high, black, clod-hopping boots. The kind that make me go squishy in the tummy. And she had long, straight red hair. (No, not red-red, it was a plausible color.) She was wearing a long, green dress/coat thing, and she was gorgeous. Rather thin, the kind of person I'd be afraid of breaking, but absolutely beautiful to look at. I think I complimented her boots or something before she walked away.
Nicole said she was trying to hook us up. Uh, right. I don't think that could have worked out, even if I weren't in my ultra-scrub mode. I mean, I think I'd go limp if I were masturbating and caught myself in the mirror. It's that bad. Besides, there's something about people that attractive... I don't like the loss of control, the feeling of being in someone's thrall. It's creepy. Maybe Paula's talking about this when she mentions "the beautiful people". |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
grendelkhan's journal