| shaking. |
[Feb. 25th, 2002|01:01 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | furious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | rushing rushing blood | ] |
I'm so fucking pissed off.
Oh look, Lee's airing my faults on livejournal. Doesn't she just ooze maturity?
I have a shameful lack of regard for my own health. Sure---I wasn't the one doing any fucking.
Is it my fault I don't want to wade through the forest of Lee's flaming self-righteousness? I haven't done hand-hold one, and already I fucking hate myself for it. How dare she not only say that this is all my fault, how could she have ever known that I would be upset, but also post it in a public forum, claiming that her entire life is public.
Fucking goatshit. No one's life is public. I'm going to refrain from posting Lee's IM logs with me when she was depressed. But it's the retarded inbred cousin of a poor excuse for a reason to try to hurt me like that, and claim she has every right to.
While we're at it, I'm also ugly and stupid, I'm lousy in bed, I'm an insensitive and heartless boyfriend (not to mention jealous as hell), and I cover up for my lack of social skills by bonding with machinery instead of people. I pine and mope about how little sex I get, but in reality, I'm too chickenshit to even attempt to get some sweet young thing to succumb to my greasy, desperate, clawing overtures.
Oh, and I don't sleep in an attempt to hurt myself, 'cause I hate substance abuse, and it's the easiest method of self-destruction.
Oh look, ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) rekling is mediating us. Let's see where this goes. |
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| unfucked. |
[Feb. 25th, 2002|03:37 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
Herein, gentle reader, is the transcript of the instant messages Lee and I shared. This follows this mess. Hopefully it becomes a little clearer why I acted like that. I apologize for the poor formatting, but time constraints prohibit me from doing this nicely.
Note: this is a really, really big journal entry. Lee should have posted this. But she decided not to, and "hung up" on me. Instant-Messenger speaking, of course.
Given that I'm her major means of support, I'd hoped to rate a little more respect.
( the second part ) |
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| i'm done fighting. |
[Feb. 25th, 2002|04:35 am] |
Lee--
I'm done fighting. I've said all I'm going to say. Please, no last words. I'm finished. Done. This was exhausting; this was draining.
I'm finished. I just want to crawl into bed and wake up not fighting.
When I was complaining about never having enough replies in my journals, I never, ever meant this. |
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| serene. |
[Feb. 25th, 2002|11:54 am] |
I'm going to maintain my equilibrium here. I'm going to stop arguing. No matter what Lee says, I'm going to respond by shutting up and nodding.
Because I don't want to fight anymore. We're not fighting about anything meaningful. This is stupid. This is childish. And I'm going to stop it. |
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